bleacherbummed:

busterbikepath:

bleacherbummed:

The Cubs are gonna win today  

Just gimme a beer, some country music, and a few good friends and I’ll be the happiest girl in the world.

Disclaimer: This is going to be a bunch of thoughts that are just going to pour out of my head right now. Annnnnd…GO

First of all, I don’t want to date. I don’t want to go on dates, I don’t want to be tied down to one person. I just don’t fucking want to. My main group of friends are guys, a bunch of awesome, asshole-y guys who I want to be able to flirt with and not have to worry about who I’m pissing off. I LOVE my guy friends, they keep me sane (for the most part). And I’m not about to alter my relationships with them so I can date someone. I’m not ready for that, I don’t want to be ready for that. I’m happy with where I’m at, when I’m ready to date someone, guess what, I’ll stop going to the bars as often as I do and I’ll devote my time to someone when I’m ready. Sue me that I don’t want to go on “just one date” with someone who A. I didn’t fucking remember meeting and B. when I did remember who it was I also remembered how uninterested I was and how awkward the conversation was. I trust my opinions of people when I first meet them. Right off the bat I can tell you pretty much whether or not we will ever be good friends. If there’s no connection what-so-ever, I’ll be cordial with you but that doesn’t mean we’re going to be bff’s or date or even talk on a regular basis. And I am certainly not going to force myself to go on a date with someone just because they “seemed nice”. I need more than that. I need someone who can hold a conversation with me effortlessly. Forcing conversation is some of the most awkward shit ever and I HATE IT.

Second, I am well aware that it’s a VERY BAD idea to hook up with someone who’s in a relationship. Trust me, you’re not telling me anything I don’t know. But here’s the thing you don’t know our friendship. You know nothing of it, you know what I tell you, which is when something happens between us. You don’t know about the times he’s stood up for me, the times when I’m irritated about something stupid and he knows exactly what to say to make me laugh it off. You don’t know that he didn’t have to take me home when I was black out drunk but he did it anyway. He’s more than a random guy I occasionally hook up with. He’s become a friend, someone who I believe respects me and cares about me and honestly just has a lot of shit he needs to figure out. And that’s fine he can figure out what he needs to but in the mean time I still want to be his friend because I can talk to him about literally anything and I know he’ll listen. And it’s not like I haven’t called him out on his shit, I have believe me. Granted that conversation always comes up after we’re both not sober enough to have the discussion. But he’s aware and whether or not he does something about it is up to him, but I’m not out to sabotage his relationship or anything like that. There’s just so much more to it than people can see or hear or whatever.

And yes maybe I’m attracted to guys that are assholes. But why is that so surprising, it’s always been the case and it’s not going to change over night. There’s a reason I’m attracted to those types of guys. The relationships I have with those types of guys make them respect me. They treat me like an equal, not like a ‘dumb girl’. They don’t let me win in pool or darts. They have actual conversations with me about their lives. I am ‘one of the guys’, and I like it that way. I’m happy. That’s all that matters. I’m happy being single, flirting with any guy I want, and spending time with my asshole friends, who by the way don’t let a soul fuck with me.

Stress levels are out of control.
After work tomorrow, I’m buying a bottle of wine (that I really can’t afford)
Sitting down and drinking the whole damn thing.